


(Not So) Platonic Affection

by BitterTongue



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 01:43:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16965336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterTongue/pseuds/BitterTongue
Summary: The Avengers have become quite chummy and affectionate with each other, all except you and the Winter Soldier.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ported over from my tumblr Cordytriestowrite

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes saved the day…a lot. But those times they aren’t fighting and protecting they don’t just sit around having serious conversations or tensely ponder the state of the world. In fact they spent most of their time being quite silly.  
You joined the Avengers a few months ago thinking it was all business and personal strife. You thought Steve Roger’s spent his time thinking of the war and being noble, that Tony Stark spent his days building endless Iron Man suits, that Thor lived the life of an alien in a cheesy comedy primetime sitcom (next episode: Thor learns how to use the microwave!). Those were the stupid rumors most people choose to believe as outsiders to the lives of the superheroes and they were the ones you once believed as one of those outsiders.  
But after a few days of being part of the team you noticed Steve smiled and laughed often and loud, and that Tony was rarely alone in a workshop. And actually Thor is very smart and perceptive, people! Once you got over your own preconceived notions about the group you noticed something else very amusing and obviously never thought of by the normal population: the team was damn affectionate.  
“Morning heroes.” You yawned in greeting to to the few of you currently awake for breakfast. You sat next to Thor and pecked his cheek when he poured fresh coffee into your mug. Natasha, who was seated across from you, nudged your foot lightly with hers in greeting. She was not very active in the mornings but awake early nonetheless. The only other person up this early was Bucky.  
He always sat at the end of the table and if he did greet you it was with a grunt. You wish you could say you were used to his lack of friendliness but you weren’t. He was the only one who wouldn't joke and tease with you like he did the others. Outside of sparring and battles he didn’t ever touch you, he actually went out of his way not to do so. He never talked to you one on one either. Sure in a group conversation he was engaged and civil but those words and smiles were never directed at just you. It sucked. He was part of the team and so were you. Bucky always made you feel uncertain about your joining of the team.  
“Morning heroes.” Tony greeted, stepping into the dining area in his normal attire of silk pajamas and sunglasses. Passing Bucky on his way to his usual seat beside Natasha, he kissed the top of the soldier’s head.  
“Deja Vu.” Natasha muttered, reaching two pour herself a second cup of coffee. Tony pushed his cup below the stream of steaming liquid, knocking Nat’s mug dangerously toward the edge of the table. Tony smiled triumphantly when Natasha did nothing but roll her eyes.  
The rest of the team filtered in slowly over the next twenty minutes and the meal slowly came to life. You appreciated these mornings everyone was home and happy. There were mornings a lot different than this, ones that made your blood run cold and remind you why you were here. A day like that hadn’t happened in almost a month but no one commented out loud with that observation, afraid to break whatever spell of luck was placed over them. The party split up an hour later, taking to different parts of the tower until family dinner that evening.  
-  
“Come on baby bring that sweet ass over here and kick mine.” Sam joked as he and Bucky sparred. Bucky chuckled and lunged forward in a low tackle. You giggled at the two men wrestling childishly on the floor, standing over them with your hands on your hips.  
“It’s no wonder Parker has managed to kick both your asses before.” You say when they don’t acknowledge your presence.  
“Honey, you know these two are practically useless.” Wanda joined in, wrapping her arm around you waist and placing her head on your shoulder.  
“You’re all just jealous of my sweet ass.” Bucky panted as he pinned Sam successfully to the mat. Wanda laughed lightly next to you shaking her head.  
“I’ve got my own sweet ass Buck, I don’t need to be jealous of yours.” You quipped back quickly before you realized who you were joking with. You shifted your weight to your starting foot, ready to run the second Bucky lifts his head and you see the scowl and cold eyes you knew were hidden from you behind his strong brow and long hair.  
When he raised his head there was no icy stare. He was…smirking. and did he just wink at you? You had no time to figure it out as Bucky was pushed off Sam’s back and pinned down, the Falcon cackling as he smushed Bucky’s face into the floor. You felt Wanda pull you away from the pair but your head was in a daze over what may have been a trick of the light or sweat in his eye. But you swear Bucky sent you a playful wink. It was his first friendly gesture towards you.  
-  
Any idea you had about the friendly wink was obviously insanity. By the time dinner rolled around Bucky was ignoring you. He wasn't ignoring everyone, just specifically the things you said, did, or asked. He even ignored your request for the salt sitting next to his elbow. After two attempts to get the seasoning Bruce reached over and snatched it with the tips of his fingers, earning an awkward side hug you both enjoyed.  
Steve and Bucky collected the dishes once everyone was finished. Bucky skipped yours. He collected from everyone else on your side of the table, even waiting for Tony to scoop the last forkful of potatoes off his plate. You sighed in resignation.  
“What’s wrong babe?” Tony asked when he noticed you stand up with your dirty plate.  
“Bucky forgot my plate. I’m just going to take it to the kitchen.” You hoped you sounded nonchalant and not as hurt as you felt. A hurt you didn’t want to understand the depth of.  
The kitchen was noisy with clinking dishes and running water. Steve was scraping leftover food into the trash and handing the plate to Bucky, who then submerged them into the sick full of water. The two of them preferred to do things the old fashioned way and no one argued their occasional need to go back to the way things were.  
You added the plate to the dwindling pile next to Steve. “You forgot this one.” You said, your gaze locking with Bucky’s. If he was going to be childish you were going to make sure he knew that you knew what he was doing and that it pissed you off. All you got in return was a blank stare. With a huff you turned on your heel and left. Screw him!  
Bruce had put on Friends for the after dinner entertainment. His head lay in Natasha’s lap while her head rested on Thor’s shoulder. Tony and Sam sat closely on the giant bean bag chair and Wanda had her feet on Rhodey’s lap. You were too frustrated to be close to anyone so you sat in the large recliner by yourself. No one seemed to notice.  
An episode had finished before you even realized. You had watched it all but didn't take in any plot. Luckily Bruce chose to watch friends almost every week. You would see the episode again in a few months and maybe even enjoy it.  
Steve and Bucky finished their chore not long after the start of the second episode. Steve sat down next to Wanda, putting an arm around her and settling in quickly. With both couches full Bucky could only sit with…  
“Mind scooting over.” You heard softly in your ear. You turned your body to view Bucky hanging over the back of the chair. His face closer than it had ever been to yours. You could see the flecks of grey in his bright blue eyes and his long, dark lashes. It made you swallow. His eyebrow rose slowly and you realize you’ve been staring silently at him for too long. You move your body to the side, giving him room.  
When he sat down you realized the extra large luxury recliner was far too small. Bucky’s thigh was flush against yours and your shoulders were pushed forward to allow space for his broad form. The foreign feeling of his body forced your lungs to halt operation and you knew your skin was flush. You did your best to keep your eyes on the episode playing ahead. But when Bucky’s arm lifted to wrap around your shoulders you couldn't stop from looking at him in shock.  
He leaned close. His nose brushed the hair above your ear. You bit your lip to keep from exclaiming your confusion.  
“Is this okay doll?” He asked. His voice was low and close but after his question he pulled away from your ear to look you in the eyes. You furrowed your brow at him. Did he not just ignore you purposely all throughout dinner? Did he not knowingly forget to collect your plate? Has he not spent the past three months you’ve been here trying so hard not to cross this intimate line?  
“I-I don’t know.” Was all you could think to say. Bucky didn’t move his arm though and you didn’t ask him to. You settled back into the chair and attempted to relax. Every time you glanced his way his eyes were engaged with the program. You tried to do the same.  
Steve got up first and everyone rang in their ‘good nights’. He kissed your head and rubbed his hand over Buck’s chest before lightly patting it and leaving. Natasha was next to leave sending a 'love you guys’ your way with a nod. Was no one surprised by the current closeness of yourself and the Winter Soldier? Sam rose and stretched a few episodes later and you waited eagerly for him to turn and see your current position.  
“Well look at what we have here.” He teased. Leave it to Sam to not disappoint.  
Tony turned in the chair and smiled, “About time.” He exclaimed.  
In a flash all remaining eyes were on you and Bucky practically cuddling on the recliner and you couldn’t stand to see the knowing smirks coming from most of them, especially Wanda, Tony, and Sam.  
Using Bucky’s strong thigh as leverage you rose as fast as you could from your seat. Your cheeks were on fire. Did everyone know something about you and Bucky that you somehow didn’t?  
“I’m going to bed.” You said definitively, avoiding eye contact with everyone. As you went to walk away a force on your hips pulled your body back down.  
“Don’t be like that, doll.” He chuckled wrapping his arms more securely around your waist.  
“Roll out heroes.” Tony called as he stood up and brushed imaginary dirt off of his designer jeans, “let’s give these two canoodlers some time alone to admit their feelings and all that.”  
“What?” You asked no one in a confused daze. What feelings did Bucky have for you other than annoyance under a thin veil of tolerance? But you couldn’t ignore the hard thighs beneath you or the strong chin delicately placed upon your shoulder and the way his closeness made your stomach flutter.  
And so they all left, Bruce doing so reluctantly as the current episode had not yet ended. There was a stream of affectionate shoulder squeezes, cheek kisses, and hair ruffling and then they were all gone and it was only you and Bucky.  
“I thought you hated me.” You started, unable to contain the thoughts running through your mind right now. “I mean, I thought you were flirting with me earlier but the you didn't pass me the salt and you didn't take my plate. And that’s only today!”  
Bucky only listened as you spoke and stroke your hair gently, holding it gently between his fleshy fingers. When finally ran out of word vomit you turned once again to look him in the eyes. The eyes you had only gotten to see up close once before this very night. They were beautiful and the way he was looking at you, like he could hear you talk all day and be perfectly content, was nothing you had ever seen sent your way, not even at a fraction of the intensity you were seeing now.  
“I like you.” He began, muttering softly in the empty room as if he still had to make sure this conversation was only between you and him. “I’ve liked you since you first joined the Avengers. But I didn’t want to like you. I didn't think it was a good idea, that it would somehow ruin the team dynamic. But I ruined it anyway by not allowing myself to feel around you and everyone could feel the tension between us. I knew I couldn’t be platonic at any affectionate action with you so I didn’t even try. But I don't want to hide it anymore. I want to kiss your cheek and hold your hand and tell you you got a sweet ass. Will you let me do that doll?”  
You knew your mouth was open but you couldn’t work the muscles in your jaw and close it. He likes you! And he wants to….treat you like he treats everyone else? Shouldn’t he want to do more? Maybe he didn’t like you anymore. Maybe that's why he felt comfortable revealing this now. Now that he didn't hold those feelings.  
“I-I would like that very much Bucky.” You finally said after a few moments. If all he wanted was to treat you as a friend you would take it, even if your heart was slowly sinking with the newfound and already dead idea of there being something more between you.  
He smiled widely and exhaled in a light laugh. He kissed your cheek happily. The kiss was soft and long with his short beard scratching your delicate cheek in a not pleasant way. His hands squeezed on your hips before leaving your body all together. He moved his lips away from your cheek shortly thereafter.  
“Goodnight doll.”  
You stood shakily, still feeling his lips on your skin. You think you uttered a goodnight but you couldn’t hear yourself past the sound of your racing heat in your ears. You made it to your room with no incident and only when you fell onto your bed did you allow a few heavy tears to roll out.  
You should be happy you and Bucky have grown past the awkward distance between you. But his confession, that he liked you once, only made you realize you like him back, just not in the past tense. You fell into a fitful sleep with the ghost of lips and stubble caressing your tear stained cheek.


	2. Chapter 2

You ended up being the last one down to breakfast the next morning. You almost skipped the meal all together but you knew that would say more about how you were feeling than showing up. So you trudged into the kitchen begrudgingly.  
“Morning gorgeous.”  
It was Bucky who greeted you today. Almost like he was waiting for you to come in. Your cheeks reddened and you hid them behind your hands, feigning rubbing sleep from your eyes.  
“Morning gorgeous.” Sam mimicked winking at you and pushing Buck’s shoulder playfully. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to leave your room.  
You sat down in the space between Thor and Rhodey. Thor poured your coffee, earning a small peck on his massive shoulder. With coffee and food in your system you felt less tired. If it weren’t for Bucky addressing you directly every once in a while you would have been able to believe last night never happened. And the winking! He winked every time you made eye contact and sometimes he would bite his lip too. It was practically vulgar and you would have totally lost your sanity if not for Sam, sitting right next to Bucky, mirroring his actions and making you smile through your constant blush.  
“Alright heroes.” Tony cut through the chatter. He sat low in his chair next to Steve, his head leant on the super soldier’s bicep and arms across his chest. He was dressed in his usual silk pajamas and sunglasses, but had procured a toothpick to complete a uniquely Tony Stark style.  
“I don't actually have anything to say. Just wanted all eyes on me.” He finally admitted when the table had gone silent. With a round of laughs and ‘boo’s’ everyone rose to start go their separate ways for the day.  
“Ready to go?” Wanda asked as she reached your side in the hallway. Her hand slipped into yours with a gentle squeeze. You and Wanda usually sparred in the gym after breakfast but so did Sam and Bucky. Breakfast was already enough with those two today.  
“Let’s go to the weight room,” you said hoping she would not question the change in their routine. She smiled and pulled you through to the elevators.  
“Is this about Bucky?” She asked in the same tone one would ask about the weather. You choked on nothing and despite knowing you were alone in the elevator you eyes searched the room before responding. You really hoped she wouldn't ask.  
“It’s weird Wanda.” You sigh. You proceed to tell her your conversation from last night. How Bucky confessed he used to like you and how he doesnt anymore and that makes him feel comfortable to treat you like part of the team. She listened intently and when you stopped talking she stayed silent, lost in her own thoughts.  
“Wanda?” You started. You weren’t expecting her to tell you everything would be okay. You were kind of expecting her to tell you that you were being ridiculous and overthinking. But you didn't expect silence after all that. Wanda finally looked at you and opened her mouth but it was then the elevator doors opened. Both your attentions were drawn to the movement and you knew your conversation was over, at least for now.  
The weight room was usually used by Thor and Steve and today was no exception. But you did not expect the doors to open and reveal Thor lifting an entire weight rack with one hand. Sometimes you forgot he wasn't human. He put the rack down gently when he noticed you.  
“Welcome ladies.” He called, making Steve aware of your presence. It was rare to see you here voluntarily. You hated weight training and preferred to be flexible and lithe in battle. Leave the heavy lifting for the super soldiers, gods, and Hulk. Now that you were here, being eyed by Steve like a gazelle who stumbled into a lion’s den, you weren’t sure this was better than facing Bucky.  
-  
“Come on recruit only 5 more.” Steve called encouragingly from the ground below. He had roped you into an upper body workout you desperately needed and had desperately avoided since being shown this room in your welcome tour three months ago. You were currently hanging from slats installed in the roof and only 5 slats away from the ladder that would take you back to safety. You were sweating and shaking and every word the captain threw at you made your jaw clench in agitation.  
“Fuck off, Rogers.” You shot back for the hundredth time since starting this stupid drill. If at any time you needed to climb roof beams you wouldn’t. You can teleport dammit that’s what you would do instead of hanging like an idiot from the ceiling. But that didn’t matter to Steve.  
“Love you too.” He sang back for the hundredth time since starting this stupid drill.  
You faintly heard the ding of the elevator doors past your own heavy breathing. Five more slats and you could climb down and never use your arms again.  
“So this is where you’ve been hiding.” You heard from below you. You didn't need to see him to know Bucky Barnes had not only found you but just called you out on hiding from him in the first place. And worse than that were the giggles of Wanda and Thor who you had last seen doing pull ups. Well Thor was doing pull ups and Wanda was wrapped around his torso as extra weight. Why couldn't you be face to chest with a shirtless god right now?  
“Fuck off Barnes.” You groaned.  
“Only five more.” Steve called his reminder.  
You didn’t look down. Didn’t want to see Bucky and Steve below you smiling at your pain. You practically growled your way to the next rung. Then sobbed as you managed to move one more.  
“Yes!” You heard Steve’s cheer coupled with clapping from all around the room. You smiled to yourself. And made the mistake of looking down.  
Right at the base of the ladder you needed to get to was Bucky smiling proudly at you. That is until you made eye contact. You watched in slow motion as his face changed to a dramatic grimace and his hand lifted the hem of his shirt to show his clenched stomach. The surprise of seeing his tan, hard abdominals and silly face cause you to lose focus on your grip and next thing you knew you were falling to the ground below.  
This is why if you were stuck dangling from a roof somewhere you would just teleport. Just in case the bad guy was super hot, super fit, and not at all interested in you romantically when you just realized you might be romantically interested in him.  
One second you were falling twenty feet down to the ground and the next you were materializing before Bucky, entirely safe but pissed as all hell.  
“Fuck you!” You pushed him with the little might you had left in your screaming muscles. The force didn’t even push him back and instead of increasing the distance with a push you really only found yourself against his chest.  
He was laughing. He hadn’t stopped since he had sent you falling. He laughed as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. He laughed as he pressed his lips to your sweaty forehead.  
You wanted to be upset but you were so exhausted. You only found yourself chuckling into Bucky’s soft shirt, savoring the closeness and the rumble emitting from his chest.  
“Sorry doll.” He murmured against your forehead. His laughter had finally subsided into a content warmth that spread from his lips and arms into your tired muscles.  
“I forgive you.” You muttered. Your eyes struggled to stay open and tethered to reality.  
“I need to go,” you finally managed to say as you moved your head away from Buck’s chest, not realizing until then that his lips were still on your hairline. “I’m gross and exhausted.” You further explained when Bucky did not let go of your shoulders and let you walk away.  
He removed his metal arm from your body and you expected his real arm to follow suit but it still laid heavily on your back. You pulled away further and looked up at him confused.  
The way he was looking at you made your breath stutter in your throat. It was the same look he had toward you last night, like he could stay this way forever. If your heart was not already beating at a dangerous rate it definitely reached a deadly level when you felt his metal thumb brush against your bottom lip. His eyes flicked between your gaze and where his thumb rested.  
You had to get out of here. The touching, the looks, the teasing, just about everything to do with Bucky Barnes was becoming too much to bear. You focused the last of your energy on getting away from him and to the safety of your room. Appearing gently on your bed you yet again felt that a part of Bucky still lingered on your skin. You subconsciously licked your bottom lip where his thumb has rested as you finally succumbed to your bodily exhaustion.


	3. Chapter 3

When you awoke it was dark in your room. With a shaky arm you reached for your phone and groaned. It was five minutes after dinner and the last to the table was responsible for cleaning up. Worse than being late though was not arriving at all. Save for missions and hospital stays if you missed dinner…you shudder at the thought. No, you would make it to dinner.  
With quivering arms you sat up in bed. You tried to fix your hair but found your hands couldn’t stay above your shoulders without your muscles screaming for their suffering to end. You grabbed some medicine from your bathroom and left for dinner not caring how you looked.  
You could hear the chatter and clinking of dishes before you could see everyone sat around the table. You could imagine their smug faces as the usual early arriver falls from her good graces and has to do dishes as they all have once or twice.  
Before you could round the corner a shadowy figure caught your eye. They were standing just beyond the entrance to the dining room, casually leaning against the wall.  
“Hey Doll, how you feelin’?” The figure asks. You should have guess it was him.  
“Fuck off Barnes.” You reply with little malice. You were frankly too weak to be truly upset. Bucky chuckled and pushed himself off the wall. He moved closer, just at the edge of the doorway across from you. Leaning again against the wall he crossed his arms.  
“Now is that any way to speak to the man willing to do the dishes with you tonight?” He grinned.  
You smiled and scoffed, so that’s why he wasn’t .with everyone else. You felt a bitterness rise in your chest. Was he even going to bring up the incident in the weight room? If he was smart he would just give you some space. If you were smart you would keep him at a distance. Neither of you seemed to have any brains around each other and instead could only smile like idiots.  
He reached his hand towards you, it was illuminated by the light flooding out from the dining room. It was a request, a silent plea for your touch, for an intimacy that made your heart burst into your throat at the idea. You stared at the hand. It was human. He hand would be warm and slightly calloused, his grip firm and solid. You imagined that hand in yours and could easily make that happen, but it wouldn’t be in the way you wanted.  
You held back tears, surprised at the wetness forming in the corner of your eyes. You blamed the damp and watery vision on your physical stress. Must be lactic acid buildup or something, you reasoned. You looked up at the face still half hidden in shadow. His eyes were concealed in the dimness of the hallway but his strong jaw welcomed the illumination and the ever present playful smile was kissed with the fluorescent shine of what waited for them beyond the doorway.  
How long had you been staring at his hand? You blinked yourself back to reality. Your playful nature swiftly consumed the swirling thought in your head and with a smug, wide grin you maneuvered around Bucky’s arm and into the dining room alone.  
“Hey heroes, look who’s last in.” You teased, your smile grew as jeers and applause rang around the table. Bucky strode in sheepishly, his metal arm reaching up to rub his groaning face. The soldier grabbed your hip before you could sit down. Pulling you close he whispered “We’re even now Doll.”  
-  
Steve had offered to cut up your steak when you sat down and you took full advantage of his guilty hospitality. You groaned in pain and made sure your arms looked extra weak when you reached for your fork and pathetically attempted to stab the cut pieces. And that’s how you came to be hand fed by Steve Rogers.  
“Smaller pieces Steve,” you requested with a smirk, “I don't want to choke.” Steve rolled his eyes before putting the piece of meat back in the plate and cutting it in half.  
Sudden laughter sent your attention to Sam and Bucky who were sitting across from you and Steve. Sam was giggling unabashed behind his fist and Bucky was smirking, but his lips forced themselves together when he caught your inquisitive glare.  
Bucky really did his best to keep his face innocent while Sam made no such effort to calm his snickering. You turned your hard stare to Sam who only laughed harder.  
With a few deep breaths he managed to calm down enough to ground out the words “choking on big meat” before a new wave of giggles overcame him and spread to others at the table.  
“Steve, please reach over and slap these two for me.” You commanded lightheartedly. You couldn't keep your tone serious. Bucky winked and smiled proudly at his joke.  
But Steve was too busy trying to look like he wasn’t laughing at Bucky’s crude humor to act as your arms and accost the men in front of you. With an exaggerated sigh you rose from the table and announced you were finished, which would then prompt the others to say they are done as well and send Bucky to the kitchen to clean up. You made sure he saw your tongue poke out of your lips childishly before turning the corner.  
-  
It was easy to slip away after dinner. While the others took turns playing Mario Kart you feigned sleepiness and made your way to your room. You only stayed long enough to put on your shoes and a hoodie before setting off on the street of New York.  
You did this occasionally. Sometimes the tower would feel stuffy and too small, especially when nothing called you to action. Other times when you felt lonely or heavy hearted you would find yourself walking the familiar streets. Right now you were walking because of a certain dark haired, light eyed, hot and cold soldier. You knew if you stayed home it would mean another confusing interaction that would leave your head muddled and your heart racing.  
Relationships had always been easy before: boy flirts with girl, girl flirts back, they hook up, they break up, and life moves on. You’ve had boyfriends lasting years and you’ve had feelings fizzle in weeks but all of a sudden all of those feelings and affairs felt lukewarm compared to the way Bucky was making you feel.  
You turn left, your feet guiding you while your head travels back to the tower, back to Bucky. You mind flickered like an old movie, back and forth between the cool metal thumb on your lower lip, the soft lips on your forehead, the hand outstretched from the darkness.  
It wasn't fair that these feelings arose for Bucky Barnes just as his feelings faded. It didn't seem right. You felt out of sync, like you got the punchline to a joke long after everyone else.  
You knew you’d end up here, the 24 hour laundromat. It’s where you always ended these journeys. You stepped in to the brightly lit room. The humming of the wash calmed your internal turmoil and the heat from the dryers wrapped you in a warm blanket of air. You sat down in a small plastic chair and watched a stranger’s clothes go through the spin cycle.  
“I knew I’d find you here.” The voice was loud enough to be heard over the dozen machines at work. You turned half heartedly and it took a second to realize they were talking to you.  
“How did you know?” You asked when the figure sat down next to you. Steve looked up, allowing the brim of his baseball cap to lift enough for you to see his eyes. They were somber but fit the mood you needed at the moment.  
“You always come here,” he shrugged as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. It made you smile, happy that your friend knew you so well. You did always end up here on these walks, an old habit from before The Avengers when you were just a fresh faced adult with no washer and dryer in your apartment.  
“Can't believe I told you about his place,” you scoffed, “and I can't believe you remembered.”  
He reached for your hand and pulled it from your hoodie. Intertwining your fingers he rested your hands on his knee.  
“Well when Bucky went to your room and you weren’t there I figured this is where you went.” Steve explained but you barely cared past hearing his name.  
“Bucky came to my room?” He had never done that before, you would have bet before tonight that he didn’t even know which door you were behind.  
“Of course!” He said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. You pulled your hand from Steve’s and folded your arm across your chest. Steve turned more towards you in his small chair, his eyebrows pulled together in concern.  
“Why does he care all of a sudden?” You grumble, knowing you sound immature and ungrateful to the man who considered Bucky to be family. And like a child you felt foolish when Steve answered.  
“Because he’s crazy about you!” And he said it as fact, as if his statement was some undeniable truth known by anyone who knew Bucky Barnes.  
“He has a weird way of showing it.”  
“He’s been through a lot.” Steve shot back, his voice startling you. It was harsh and a little aggressive and if you weren’t able to see the look in his eye you probably would have feared him from his voice alone.  
He was Bucky’s best friend, someone who had also been through a lot. Someone forced out of the world they knew and into one that had moved forward while he had stood still. Bucky had been through torture, brain washing, and countless other things you could see in his eyes after a long day or a rough mission. You felt stupid and selfish, thinking anything with Bucky would be normal when nothing in his life had been normal for decades.  
You felt the tear as it tried to fall and caught it before it could leave your eye. If Steve noticed he didn’t say anything. His jaw was clenching and unclenching like he wanted to say more to you. He never did and you silently thanked him it. It would have made your tears unquestionable.  
“I’d like to go see him, let him know I’m okay.” You stood an offered Steve your hand, and after pulling himself out of the chair he grabbed it.  
“He would like that.”  
As you begin to walk back home Steve removed his hand from yours and placed the arm around your shoulder pulling you into his side. You walk a wonky line for a few paces and feel the heavy emotions fall away. And when you laugh Steve laughs too and leans his cheek against the top of your head.  
“Tell him about the laundromat too.” Steve whispers. You push him away and quicken your pace, flicking off the super soldier as keeps his pace behind you.  
“I already regret telling you.”


	4. Chapter 4

It didn’t take long to get back home and with Steve by your side telling you funny anecdotes you found yourself unconcerned with what would happen when the two of you parted ways. You waited until Steve closed the door to his room before letting a shaky exhale escape.  
Was Bucky in your room? Was he in his? Should you put this off until morning? Instead of making a definitive decision you turned around and made your way to the kitchen. A glass of water and some time to think was all you needed and surely you would figure out what to do.  
You flicked on the light and almost screamed as an unexpected figure was revealed. His back was to you but with a dramatic turn on the barstool he faced you.  
He could honestly be a model with his smoldering gaze and strong jaw. You found yourself unable to look away and your mouth felt dry. In a panic you pulled the light switch down and plunged you both into darkness once more. Bucky laughed in surprise and now that he couldn't see your face you allowed it to reveal a small smile. You bit your lip as you navigated away from the wall and towards the refrigerator.  
The kitchen was large and open, it was easy to find the counter and avoid running into anything. You kept a hand lightly on the countertop knowing it would end right where the fridge began. You still kept your steps cautious and small, afraid of what was unseen and unexpected like the warm fingertips grazing your beast.  
“Bucky!” You squealed, hitting his hand away quickly, “that was my boob.”  
The hand once (probably unintentionally) groping you moved lower and found your waist. A deep chuckle was emanating close to your right ear. You boldly moved closer, surprising yourself. Bucky’s arm wrapped more securely around your waist as if you would change your mind a try to escape. His cheek came to rest on the side if your head. Spurred by his closeness you reached up to rest your hand against his broad chest. You knew you had to be imagining the racing heartbeat underneath, or perhaps feeling your matching pace seeping through your fingertips. The cool metal palm of Bucky’s hand came to rest on top of yours effectively pinning it to him.  
The two of you began to sway, dancing in the darkness of the kitchen long after everyone had gone to bed. It felt right to be moving together with no music to guide your feet because despite the silence you both flowed together to the same unheard song. In the darkness you allowed yourself to enjoy his company, your senses did not tell you to flee or get distance like they did when you could see him. Here in the darkness you could imagine he was the Bucky you wanted. The one who wanted you.  
You felt his cheek move away from your head and you feared the spell between you was beginning to break. You looked up quickly before realizing you couldn’t see his face. Uncertainty creeped into your stomach making it flip and flutter.  
“Bucky?” You whispered knowing you sounded frightened. You couldn’t disguise your tone. You knew you felt something growing and changing and setting your nerves alight. And all you wanted to know is that Bucky felt it too, that you weren’t alone right now.  
You felt soft, pressing lips just off center of their target and without hesitation turned your head slightly to meet them. The kiss was simple and soft, only the meeting of his lips to yours for a few seconds in the dark but behind your eyes you saw fireworks. Your lips came together again, more sure of where they should be this time and you felt like crying tears of joy. By the time yours lips melded together again you were smiling unabashed and you felt Bucky’s mouth do the same against yours. Giving up the pretense of dancing Bucky moved his arms around your upper back and hugged you. Burrowing his face into your hair and resting his forehead upon your shoulder.  
“Sorry for touching your boob.” His voice reverberated off your clothed shoulder. Your laugh was loud in the empty kitchen. Yet again the mood shifted between you but you found this time you weren’t afraid of it. With one hand pinned between Bucky’s chest and your own you used your free hand to sooth the back of his head.  
“It’s okay.” You offered. And even if he didnt know, you had meant it for more than just a blind feel of your chest.  
Neither of you bothered to light a path from the kitchen to your rooms. Walking hand in hand slowly through the dark you stopped at your door, softly illuminated by the city lights streaming through an uncovered window at the end of the hall. It was enough light to ensure your mouths did not miss as you kissed goodnight.  
-  
The next morning there was no breakfast. There were no jokes, no hugs, no smiles. Everyone watched the sun rise from the quinjet in silence with only the crinkle of breakfast bar wrappers breaking through the tension. You had been called out of bed around three in the morning by a message from SHIELD.  
Strange activity in Kansas. Witness accounts of creatures unknown. Find source and eliminate.  
In the time you had been part of the Avengers you had never gotten over the small thrill of traveling around the world for missions but you would give anything to be home right now.  
You knew you were looking too much at the back of Bucky’s head. You couldn't help it, after last night all you wanted was to be alone with him, see his muscles relax and his face soften. For once you wished you were both average people with no mission to disrupt the time you could be together.  
Wanda was buckled into the chair beside you. She had finished her protein bar and was eyeing your half eaten one with interest. You passed it to her, not feeling hungry. She smiled at you but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. You turned your attention back to the Winter Soldier and your eyes met briefly before he shifted to face forward again.  
“We’ll be there in an hour.” Natasha’s voice entered your ear, you lowered the volume of your earpiece. An hour would be enough to build a palpable stress within the team. You sighed and resumed your viewing of Bucky’s long locks and tense shoulders. He didn't look back at you again.  
-  
“What the hell is this?” Tony asked the SHIELD scientist as he poked around the pop up tent at the edge of a Kansas corn field. You watched amusedly as the scientist followed Tony around, straightening everything he picked up and put down so carelessly.  
“Standard stuff Tony,” Banner told him, looking around himself with his hands behind his back. “Some of this you have back home. How could you not recognize it?”  
Tony smirked and winked in Bruce’s direction as he picked up and set down a large drill heavily. You couldn’t help but smile at Tony’s shenanigans. If Tony was one thing he was chaotic and unlike Thor’s adopted brother he managed to be so with a likeable grace…unless you were the SHIELD scientist currently ripping his hair out watching Tony poke one of the captured creatures with his Iron Man glove.  
When you arrived thirty minutes ago the team had spread out: Sam and Rhodey took to the skies to observe the massive sinkhole, Natasha, Thor, and Wanda were gathering intel, Steve and Bucky had set off to tackle a small batch of activity detected before landing, and you, Tony and Bruce came to check out what the hell you were up against.  
“It’s some sort of mechanical…gopher.” Bruce mused. “It looks like it’s meant to burrow. Look at the drill here.” Bruce indicated with a now gloved finger so you knew where to look. You were grateful he took charge one you got here as your specialty was not being a genius with seven PhDs.  
“We theorize they caused the sinkhole by getting caught in the roots of the corn stalks.” The scientist interjected, his once fretful air now stinking of superiority.  
“So why are we here? To settle some farmers beef over who has the best corn?” Tony was now sitting upon one of the tables having pushed aside whatever was on it before.  
“These are too advanced to be made by a farmer Tony.” Bruce said.  
A resonating rumble shook the ground beneath you and through the opening of the pop up tent you could see dirt and dust rise into the air.  
“The hole just got worse.” Sam’s voice came in through your earpiece.  
“Guys, those creatures are pouring out of the center of this thing. We need to move before they do anymore damage.” Rhodey’s voice came next.  
You, Tony, and Bruce abandoned the tent abruptly. Tony donned the Iron Man suit, kicking off into the sky to join the unmistakable flying figures of Falcon and War Machine. You kept pace with Bruce, who had seven PhDs and none of them in physical education.  
“Go on,” he panted at you, “I’ll catch up.”  
That’s all you needed to hear. With little concentration you disappeared and reappeared every few yards until you reached the edge of the sinkhole.  
There had to be at least a hundred of the mole-like machines heading out in all directions of the epicenter of the issue. You removed your knife from your thigh holster and began slashing your way through the rogue machines that must have been the first on the surface. They were easy to take down one on one, but as you got closer and the population thickened you had to dodge the sharp drill tips as they aimed for your lower body.  
“We can’t get any closer.” Steve informed the team. You looked up briefly to see Steve and Bucky on the other side of the divot about one hundred feet away from the dark abyss, the ground in front of the cracked and lopsided. Both men were fighting low at the incessant pests.  
“I’m on it.” You said with determination as you pressed the talk button in your ear. Bucky looked up suddenly at your voice. Your eyes met just before you teleported to the edge of the crater.  
And fell as the earth crumbled beneath you.


	5. Chapter 5

The drop was far enough down to make you bounce upon landing. You tried to protect your body as much as possible, tucking your limbs in and trying your best to ragdoll, but when your body finally settled into the jagged dirt you could tell your ankle had fractured, maybe even broken. Your breathing was labored and it took a moment to realize the soft, pained whimpers were coming from your own throat.  
“Okay.” you said to yourself between large breaths, over and over again. It took a couple of minutes for the adrenaline to level in your body and your senses to come back to you.  
You first inspected your ankle: no broken skin or protruding bones, but it did hurt to move and touch and you could tell it was swelling up even under your pants. You scanned the area next, looking up towards the sky now so far above. It would be dangerous to teleport, you were injured and weak and you could land somewhere unstable again or even in the middle of a swarm of those machines. You moved you finger to press your comm link only to find yourself pressing on nothing but your own flesh.  
“Fuck!” You cursed, bringing your eyes down to the dirt around you, looking for the small, black earpiece. With effort you pulled yourself onto your hands and knees and began to crawl gingerly around, palms feeling for the device.  
You moved forward, unable to stop the cry of agony from ripping through you as your ankle shifted to a point of pain. You edged slowly to where you had initially landed. You felt helpless without the team in your ear. Your fingers moved more desperately through the dirt, digging deeper and hitting a solid surface. Your search was cast aside briefly by curiosity, you pushed dirt and gravel out of the way, pushing it into messy piles around you until a gleam of silver was kissed by the high sun. You excavated more of the metal plating, though it extended beyond what your hands could reach. You knocked on it, it echoed faintly but didn’t seem completely hollow. You moved further along the side of your freshly made hole, biting you lip as tears escaped your eyes. But you kept digging, kept expanding on this mysterious metal flooring hidden beneath a Kansas cornfield.  
“Oh no,” you whispered to yourself when you hand brushed dirt away from a discolored bit of the metal, it was curled and purposeful. It made your skin crawl and sweat break out long your hairline. Your hands trembled as you exposed more of the logo embossed onto the floor. Wth a final swipe along an eyeless skull you took in the what was below your broken body, what was below The Avengers, Kansas, and possibly the whole of the United States.  
“HYDRA.”  
You crawled to the nearest bit of dirt wall and used it to assist you in standing. Trying not to vomit from the pain you leant against the wall keeping your weight off of your broken ankle. You looked up, again breathing hard as adrenaline bubbled through your veins like fire.  
“Help!” You screamed so loudly your ears rang and your voice broke. You didn’t have any other way to tell the team what you had found as any chance if finding your comm was now buried under the piles of earth. Your shriek echoed up the crevice and you hoped it reached someone’s ears above the sound of fighting.  
You kept it up, screaming and shouting until your lips were numb. You only allowed yourself to relax when the familiar red and gold form of Iron Man hovered down to meet you. You fell into Tony’s arms heavily and as you were lifted out you found yourself muttering ‘HYDRA’ over and over into Tony’s shoulder as your body shut down.  
-  
“I’m fine, Thor. I promise I can get myself to the jet.” You said from Thor’s arms. You didn’t necessarily mind the free ride in the god’s strong embrace, but considering you had just unearthed a large HYDRA bunker (empty it figures) you didn’t very much feel like milking your sprained ankle for extra attention and care. You had missed out on the majority of the mission after Tony rescued you, sitting drugged up in a local hospital feeling useless and worried. In truth you wanted to teleport to the quinjet, get home, and discuss the next course of action before cuddling up to someone for the night, preferably Bucky. So you pouted with arms crossed childishly as Thor carried you bridal style to your seat.  
“Oh my god Thor I can buckle myself in!” You exclaimed pushing at the god’s hands fruitlessly. He laughed loudly though not loud enough to drown out the giggles of the rest of the team. When he felt you were sufficiently buckled in he gave you a peck on the forehead and took his seat next to Bruce a few rows up.  
The quinjet took off quickly, taking the team back to New York and leaving SHIELD behind to take care of the mess and paperwork. While you felt bad leaving the boring work to the agents you were grateful not to be one of them. You settled into the chair as best as you could with Thor’s restrictive fastening and turned your gaze to the back of….Wanda’s head? You turned so hard your neck cracked and found Bucky sitting in Wanda’s chair.  
“Hey Doll.” He greeted softly, whispering as the rest of the cabin goers were silent. “How are you feeling?”  
You smiled at him. Was it too cheesy to say 'I’m fine now that you’re here’? Because it felt cheesy as hell, but an honest cheesy. Instead you reached out your hand between your two chairs in silent response. He grabbed it with no hesitation, linking your soft fingers with his mechanical ones.  
“How are you feeling?” You thought to ask after a moment, “After all what we found was HYDRA.”  
He shrugged as if the name didn’t matter but the way his jaw clenched exposed how he really felt. You squeezed his hand with yours and in return he lifted your joined hands and ran your knuckles over his lips. You blushed but didn’t pull your hand away.  
He kept your hand against his lips when he pursed them again, letting you feel the tension of his muscles as his face scrunched together in introspection. You wanted nothing more than to see his face relax and remove the subject of HYDRA from his mind. That damned evil organization would haunt him forever and like a cockroach it continued to live despite everything done to get rid of them.  
With a light tug he allowed you to pull your hand away from his face. He watched with interest as you brought your joined hands to your own lips, peppering his artificial knuckles with kisses. You didn't know if he felt them the same way he would with his real hand, but the smile he was holding back by biting his lower lip proved what your action meant to him. You brought your hands down to your arm rest, not even attempting to hide your own smile from Bucky.  
You rested your head against the back of your seat but kept your eyes on the super soldier to your right. How did you end up here? Only a few days ago you thought he hated you and up until last night you thought you had missed your chance to be with him. But here you were, in a space usually void of the affection you adored so much from your friends, holding hands with someone you couldn’t wait to go home with.  
You wanted the affections, the kissing and what comes beyond it, you wanted to flirt some more, tease some more, and maybe actually take Bucky Barnes out on a date.  
“Hey Buck?” You whispered, he looked at you with a raised brow, letting you know he was listening.  
“Would you like to go out to dinner? Just the two of us?” You clarified hurriedly. You tried not to let your nerves get to you when both Wanda and Sam’s heads turned slightly to hear Bucky’s reply. Eavesdropping bastards.  
He straightened up, turning to face to as best he could in his chair, “You mean like a date?”  
There was hope in his voice and all you managed to do was nod eagerly. You watched his face light up, his eyebrows shooting up and his mouth opening in surprise before cracking into a smile and laughing.  
“Yes.” He said through his dazed grin. “Yeah, I would love to go to dinner with you, doll.”  
Sam let out a whoop so loud it caught the attention of Nat all the way up in the pilot’s seat.  
“What’s going on back there?” Natasha called with curiosity.  
Wanda turned to face you and winked before shouting to the awaiting team, “They finally realized what we knew all along.”  
“Finally!” Tony groans loudly, as if your relationship had been causing him physical pain.  
You stared at everyone in shock before looking to Bucky, expecting to see a similar expression of confusion, only to find a smile adorning his beautiful face and directed only at you.  
“Well I know now.” He muttered, bringing your hand to his lips for another sweet kiss.


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really just a bonus chapter. Enjoy!

“I made you a reservation at 7 tomorrow night.” Tony mentioned offhandedly while you two sat in the briefing room, awaiting the rest of the team.  
You nodded in thanks but you both knew the reservation would go unused. You had been home for three weeks and had come up with every excuse not to have your date with Bucky Barnes. It’s not that you’d fallen out or you stopped liking him or anything, quite the opposite. You were together all the time, sitting by each other at meals and in meetings alike. You were always holding hands and kissing lightly making everyone else coo or groan depending on their mood. No, you hadn’t been holding back because of any issue between the two of you.  
First it had been because of your injury. You didn’t want to get all dressed up only to be walking on crutches or wearing a large medical boot. Then your foot healed and you easily found a new angle: HYDRA.  
It was obvious, you could see the weight of the mission affecting everyone, but especially Bucky. His smile didn't reach his eyes most days and those blue eyes you loved so much were often rimmed with dark circles of insomnia. It just didn't seem right, trying to build something between you while HYDRA was trying to destroy something else. None of these reasons were good enough for Tony who continued to make reservations at various restaurants nearby every other day.  
Slowly the other members of The Avengers filed into the room and sat down quietly in their unofficially assigned seats. You had all been in this room too much in the past three weeks, trying to determine what the hell HYDRA was up to. Bucky entered the room last and took his place beside you. You placed your hand gently on his knee and he covered it with his own.  
The meeting was just like all the others. It started with a report from the SHIELD team still in Kandas unearthing the large metal pod in that corn field. Their reports were fairly tame; any more of those machines were easily taken care of and any insight into the use or origin of recovered items were touched on. Next came a status report from random, nameless agents spending day and night looking for more of these underground components starting with major cities and expanding outward. So far they had come up with nothing, yet it still took them almost an hour to tell you that they found nothing every time.  
Bucky’s knee began to bounce after the third random agent came on screen. He was anxious; you all were. You were waiting for the action, waiting to fight the bad guys and win and go back to being happy and safe. You wanted Bucky to start feeling happy and safe again.  
“-found something in Montana and another underground disruption in New Mexico-” the SHIELD agent continued to drone on, but finally with information interesting enough to catch the attention of the room. There were more out there. More of something you didn't know or understand but had a duty to stop.  
“When will you break ground?” Rhodes asked, luckily someone was focusing on the actual content of the conference.  
“Tomorrow, bright and early.” The agent responded. A collective breath was inhaled and realised, you were finally going to be doing something!  
“Director Fury should be sending team assignments for each location and debriefings shortly. Stay close.” With a nod the agent ended his video and the team rose to leave the stifling room, all except you and Buck.  
His hand remained over yours on his knee, which had stilled after the new information. When you were the only ones in the room Bucky finally broke his grim silence.  
“They’re assigning teams.”  
You furrowed your brows at him and squeezed his knee. He met your eyes, looking sadder than he had before. He lifted your hand from his knee and intertwined your fingers.  
“We are going to be on different teams.” You nodded in understanding. Despite being a unit every time the team needed to split up it was done the same way. Steve would take Bucky, Sam, Bruce, and Natasha whilst Tony took you, Rhodey, Thor, and Wanda. So far in your time with The Avengers the need to split the team had only happened twice, but third time's the charm you supposed.  
“I-I’m sorry Bucky.” you started, unable to explain what you were sorry for. Sitting closer on the edge of your seat you brought your free hand to his thigh, hoping your touch would tell him what your words could not. You didn't know what else to say, you could make promises of returning soon and everything being okay but they would be false promises and you couldn't find it in yourself to lie to the man you had feelings for.  
He stood solemnly, pulling you with him and into a tight hug. You wrapped your arms around his waist and squeezed, putting your head on his shoulder. It felt so much like a goodbye.  
“They’re in here.” You heard Sam call. You and Bucky made to break apart but found Sam around the both of you trapping you in your embrace.  
Then came Wanda, her small frame allowing her to sneak under Bucky’s arm and nuzzle between you. Steve stood behind her, his forehead knocking against Bucky’s temple softly and Tony, Rhodey, Nat, and Bruce one by one surrounded you. The weight you had all been carrying individually fell away as you came together.  
“I love hugs!” Thor proclaimed, coming behind you and encircling half the team easily. There were screams and shouts as Thor lifted those within his grasp off the ground. You found yourself a head above Bucky, laughing along with the others. You looked down fondly at the man looking up at you, his eyes bright for the first time since you came home from your mission in Kansas.  
“Thor, put us down.” Natasha begged through her giggles only half meaning it, but the god let you go anyway.  
“I am glad we are all smiling again.” Thor mentioned as he pulled back from the hug. You found yourself nodding in agreement, and now at your normal height all you wanted to do was pull everyone back in and stay in your tight bundle of love and laughter. To your dismay, one by one as they had come they left, until it was just you and Bucky again.  
“We’ll be okay.” You whispered with a bright, encouraging smile, one that Bucky finally returned wholeheartedly.  
“Yeah.” He agreed, leaning forward and kissing you deeply.  
-  
The day had been long. Teams were assigned just as you had expected and from there you were debriefed on your assignments. You barely saw Bucky after you departed the room, you lips a little more swollen and upturned than when you had first entered.  
You walked into the dining room, early as you always were, only to be turned around and pushed out by Tony.  
“What the hell Stark?” You cried indignantly, turning back and trying to get through the doorway again. Tony pushed you back out into the hall, far enough that you almost hit the opposite wall.  
“You’re not invited to dinner.” He said crossing his arms in totality.  
“So…” you began, trying to wrap your head around the odd behavior, “I can't eat dinner because…?”  
“Because, my dear, you have a date.” Tony smirked. Your stomach dripped in butterflies.  
“You said the reservation was tomorrow-”  
“It was,” he affirmed, “and since we will be in Montana tomorrow we had to improvise. He’s waiting for you on the fourth floor.” With a wink Tony shooed you toward the elevator and only left the doorway when it closed and sent you downward.  
The elevator opened to the fourth floor lounge, dark and empty.  
“Bucky?” You called, walking out of the elevator. With each step the scene was set before you. The lights turned on just enough to allow you to see without straining your eyes, music came on next, soft and instrumental, and as you rounded the back of the in-ground couch you found Bucky, reclined on a flannel blanket with a large picnic basket next to him. He rose onto his elbow and sent you a small, shy smile.  
“Hey doll.” He murmured.  
“Did you do all this?” You asked in disbelief, your eyes greedily taking in the sight before you.  
“Yeah! Well, no.” He backtracked quickly, bringing himself to a stand and making his way over to you. “Sam came up with the idea of having our first date tonight, Natasha thought of the picnic thing, Steve helped me with the spread, and Bruce gave me a little pep talk.”  
“Was the pep talk any good?” You asked with a giggle.  
He wrapped his arms around your waist and began to sway you back and forth, just as you had in the pitch black kitchen last month. In the dim light you could see Bucky’s loving smirk directed right at you.  
“He mostly stuttered something about using protection.”  
Your laugh was sharp in the gentle quiet of the low music and it morphed into the high squeal when Bucky suddenly dipped you low.  
“Are you hungry?” He asked, still holding you in the low dip, his strong mechanical arm supporting your weight entirely, as you trusted it to. You nod and he pulled you back up, leading you to the lower point in the floor where the basket lay. You leaned against the couch and watched Bucky unpack your dinner.  
“So, you and Steve made the spread huh?” You teased. Bucky had laid out two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, a half empty bag of pretzels, and an uncovered bowl of strawberries.  
“We didn't have a lot of time.” He tried to explain, but upon noticing your smirk he smiled, knowing you were only giving a hard time.  
Bucky plucked a strawberry from the bowl and popped it into his mouth before holding the bowl out to you. You shook your head and scrunched your nose at the red berries in the bowl.  
“You don’t like strawberries?” He asked indignantly through his own mouthful. You nodded and pulled yourself onto your knees to grab one of the sandwiches instead.  
“I guess there is a lot we don't know about each other.” He said with an edge of melancholy.  
“That’s what first dates are for right?” You offered. He looked at you with fondness in his eyes and a smile trying desperately to rein itself in.  
“Tell me more about you then.” And he bit into another strawberry.  
-  
Bucky lay on his back, having pushed aside the basket and remaining food. You were curled into his side and your head was on his chest. You had been there for a few hours, really getting to know each other in a way you never bothered too when you thought you would never even be friends. This is what you wanted from the start you realized, not reservations at a fancy restaurant where you would be forced to keep conversation shallow for the sake of public responsibility, but a place to be alone and be yourselves. To reveal parts of you too real to risk being overheard by others.  
“You know,” you started, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between you, Bucky moved his hand to stroke the side of your head and you felt his chest rumble as he made a noise to let you know he was listening. “I wish we didn't put this off for so long. Now we leave tomorrow and who knows when we will get to do this again.”  
Bucky was quiet. Quiet for so long in fact you thought he had maybe fallen asleep, or perhaps you had sent him down a grim train of thought. Eventually though he maneuvered you onto his shoulder so you were face to face and only a breath away.  
“I’ve spent one hundred years wishing a lot of things, but all the things I wished for that didnt come true brought me here to be with you tonight.”  
You smacked his chest lightly, “That was so cheesy Barnes.” You taunted, hoping he didn't feel the tear that fell from your eye onto his sleeve. He rolled his eyes at you before taking hold of your hand and bringing it to his lips.  
“Let me try again then.” He cleared his throat and said, “Who cares let’s just make out.”  
And even if those words weren’t as moving that’s exactly what you did until Steve tentatively knocked on the wall just beside the elevator he was standing in, telling you it would be best to get some sleep before tomorrow. Abandoning the basket and blanket you two joined him in the elevator. He received a kiss on the cheek and deep hug from both of you when you reached his room and further down you shared one last kiss, putting an end to your first real date.


End file.
